healing through intentional inquiry
If you are looking for guidance on how to communicate, relate, and transform yourself with greater ease, awareness and understanding, please take a look at my recommendations below. I have found the following volumes to be very valuable in my own life and in my practice, as I aim to provide a holistic and integrated approach towards healing.
What is Violent Communication? If “violent” means acting in ways that result in hurt or harm, then muchof how we communicate—judging others, bullying, having racial bias, blaming, finger pointing, discriminating, speaking without listening, criticizing others or ourselves, name-calling, reacting when angry, using political rhetoric, being defensive or judging who’s “good/bad” or what’s “right/wrong” with people—could indeed be called “violent communication.”
What is Nonviolent Communication? Nonviolent Communication is the integration of four things:
• Consciousness:a set of principles that support living a life of compassion, collaboration, courage, and authenticity
• Language:understanding how words contribute to connection or distance
• Communication:knowing how to ask for what we want, how to hear others even in disagreement, and how to move toward solutions that work for all
• Means of influence:sharing “power with others” rather than using “power over others”
Nonviolent Communication serves our desire to do three things:
• Increase our ability to live with choice, meaning, and connection
• Connect empathically with self and others to have more satisfying relationships
• Sharing of resources so everyone is able to benefit
wired for love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship
STAN TATKIN, PSYD, MFT
"What the heck is my partner thinking?" is a common refrain in romantic relationships, and with good reason. Every person is wired for love differently, with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people's minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and rituals, making it possible to actually neurologically prime the brain for greater love and fewer conflicts.
Wired for Love is a complete insider’s guide to understanding your partner s brain and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust. Synthesizing research findings on how and why love lasts drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this book presents ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship.
Change Your Story, Change Your Life: Using Shamanic and Jungian Tools to Achieve Personal Transformation
CARL GrEER, PHD, PSYD
What if you could be the storyteller of your life? You don’t have to be just an actor playing a role written by someone else. Change Your Story, Change Your Life combines the techniques and ideas of Jungian psychology and shamanism in a unique way to create a program for reclaiming power over your life and achieving personal transformation. The exercises inspire readers to work with insights and energies derived during the use of modalities that tap into the unconscious so that they may consciously choose the changes they would like to make in their lives and begin implementing them.
Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world’s foremost experts on trauma, has spent over three decades working with survivors of trauma. In The Body Keeps the Score, he uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust. He explores innovative treatments in somatic therapies —from neurofeedback and meditation to sports, drama, and yoga—that offer new paths to recovery by activating the brain’s natural neuroplasticity. Based on Dr. van der Kolk’s own research and that of other leading specialists, The Body Keeps the Score exposes the tremendous power of our relationships both to hurt and to heal—and offers new hope for reclaiming lives.